It happened today. The day no parent wishes upon any other parent, but deep inside we all know that the odds are against us all, as one day most likely this will happen to you as well. Today was the day we had to take our 15 months old to the ER. It was the most difficult day yet as a parent, and I hope that tomorrow I will be able to say that it allow me to grow as a mother, as a parent, and as a human. Tonight though, I just want to share with you a few simple lessons I have learned over the past 12 hours.
Recognize when you are acting on pure emotion in a moment of emergency. Reset yourself if needed.
We all have been through traumatic experiences of one type or another as single adults, but dealing with these situations as a parent, is a whole different type of an experience. In a moment when your toddler gets hurt, everyone involved is going through an emotional reaction. Your child is most likely crying hysterically, you and/or your partner seeing your child injured might be crying as well, but certainly are feeling physical and emotional pain seeing your little one hurt.
During this very moment it is crucial that you remain calm and find ways not to allow your emotions to fully take over the driver seat. In this moment you need to be the best version of your composed zen self you can possibly be, to make the most rational decision for the well being of your child.
If you feel like you are about to loose it, panicking, or are finding yourself getting angry at your spouse, it is time to take a number of deep breathes in and reset. Find a calm place in your mind, and walk around for a second, stepping away from the intense emotion of the situation. Once you regain your composure, get back to the conversation with your husband and continue on with the plan of action.
Listen to your intuition.
Although your emotions should be taking a back seat in this situation, your intuition has the right of way here. As you are 100% connected with your toddler, who may or may not yet verbally communicate with you, you are the best person to determine if something is seriously wrong, or if it’s just a minor boo boo that will go away with a few tickles.
Physically speaking, your gut usually is the first to say if something seriously doesn’t look right on your child little body. Listen to it, knowing that the worst that can happen is you going to the emergency room, getting checked out and returning with your baby home safely without any health concerns or issues. This is a situation that does not have any room for error (or debate in my opinion), because you ALWAYS should be safe rather than sorry later.
While at the ER, stand behind what you believe in.
No one in this entire world has the same exact opinions or way of life as you do. And that’s ok. It is the reason why we always strive to learn from one another and enjoy reading stories others have experienced. So there should be no surprise that going to an ER will allow you to interact with medical professionals that may or may not believe in the same things you believe in. Overall, what is always critical here is to remember that everyone in the hospital is there to simply help you and your child. How you go about it is completely up to you, given the full advice of the medical professionals that are helping you get through the situation.
If there is something that your gut feeling is telling you that should not be done, don’t to it. And if there is something that perhaps you think that should be done, ask. You are the number one advocate for your child, and this is your time to ask questions, think rationally and listen to your gut. Most importantly, do not allow others to make critical decisions about your child for you, especially if you do not understand something about the process or feel uneasy about it. Ask questions until your mind is at ease and your intuition is fully aligned with the path you are setting for your child treatment and recovery.
When it’s all over and done with, don’t blame yourself.
I am personally having a tough time with this one at the moment as it’s only been a handful of hours since the incident, but I know in my soul that there is nothing either one of us (my husband or myself) could have done to prevent this situation from happening. Things something just happen. We have a very active, happy, and wildly curious child on our hands that loves spinning around just to feel the dizziness. It was bound to happen. Remember that once it happens, the only thing you can control is your reaction to the situation, not the situation itself. So stay in the moment when it’s all over, spend that extra time with your baby. Give them all the extra love you have to give for the next couple of days and know that it is most likely going to happen quite a few more times in their (and your) lifetime,
As the Polaks always say, “do wesela sie zagoi”.
Time heals all. Broken bones, cuts, bruises, and most importantly, our emotional pain. The incurred wound(s) should heal before our kids wedding day, which is the meaning behind the phrase “do wesela sie zagoi”. We will most certainly live through many more scrapes with our kids before their adulthood begins, but know that every day we get farther and farther away from this particular experience, we are building new layers of other types of memories that bury this unpleasant one deep into a space that barely gets visited. The only things that will be left from this experience months from today, is a stronger version of you, a tougher kid on your hands, and a more experienced parents.
Be strong, you will get through this day.