Allow me to begin by stating a disclaimer: this article displays an opinion of one individual (me), and it is not written with any intent to discriminate, judge, put down any other fathers or their actions of any kind. It is written as a reflection of what I believe to be the perfect father for my children… and no one else’s.
ONE: He does NOT try to breastfeed our daughter.
He doesn’t spend his free time crawling through amazon in search of a camouflage colored, silicone boob that will fit his shoulders just right. He rather understands that only a mother can naturally breast feed a child, as the experience of doing so forms a bond that the child needs to develop a sense of security from. Event though he yearns a deep connection with his child (who at an infant stage is too little for rough play etc), he patiently awaits his turn in the natural cycle of development.
TWO: He allows me to mother.
He understands that a mother knows best…90% of the time. So he listens to every decision I make with respect to our daughter, rolling his eyes when I am being a bit too paranoid, and speaking up when I am loosing my marbles. He is able to look at each situation from a different perspective. One that isn’t based on maternity hormones.
THREE: He endures the cries… all of them.
He holds her, changes her, calms her down…. every-time she cries. A breastfed child (at least ours) goes through a period of time where they prefer no one else, but mommy as they are the food source that gives them comfort. It is a short period of time, but it is BRUTAL. The screams, the cries, the tantrums… it’s even tough to listen to from the sideline. But he endures it all, allowing our daughter to find comfort in his arms. A feeling she will learn to love and cherish for the rest of her life.
FOUR: He gets up at night, just to sit there with me.
No matter the time of the night or the frequency, when he knows I need the support, he gets up and “supervises” the feedings. Without saying anything, just sitting in the nursery, looking at whatever may be near by, he probably does not even realize how much strength and comfort his presence alone gives me. He understands that even though he doesn’t have to, he chooses to go through the long, exhausting nights right there with me.
FIVE: He feeds us. Always.
He is the sole chef of the household, without whom Mom would be eating M&Ms and peanut butter jelly sandwiches for breakfast. As he feeds me, he is technically feeding our daughter… essentially feeding our whole family. Always thinking about healthy meals, and definitely never compromising on flavor.
He is a a dad who’s at the beginning journey of fatherhood, a man unlike any other, and one that is perfect for me.